Change, what the????

Last week I wrote about improving your confidence in people and in the company you work for. I received a comment in regard to my dealing with the issue of change. I must admit I had to go back and read my last post to be sure I even mentioned the issue of change. And, that comment got me thinking more deeply about change and how it affects our lives.




Change affects us all both professionally and personally. It creates stress in our lives and it never seems good, especially at first. It is always scary, it inevitably creates anxiety. Jobs being outsourced, divorce, marriage, debt, wealth, a new baby, a death in the family...and these are just the major changes we face on a regular basis. We try to control our world and keep it constant and unchanging but that just makes things worse the harder we hold to the way things used to be the more backward, and upside down we become. This week I hope to shine some light on how we process change, how it affects each and every one of us internally and how we can manage our selves and be at peace in an ever changing world.

Each of us, as we encounter changes in our lives, processes change through a series of stages. these stages are as follows:

1. Denial


2. Frustration and anger


3. Negotiation and bargaining


4. Depression


5. Acceptance


6. Experimentation


7. Discovery and delight


8. Integration

The battle with change is nearly won when we realize that this is how each of us processes change. Sure some people may skip steps, and each of us is going to have our own take on this process but generally, each of us experiences this process any time there is a major change in our lives.

We win the final victory when we realize that we control the process. That's right you do have a choice!!! You don't have to bury your head in the sand in denial, You don't have to get angry or try to bargain your way back to the old way of doing things, and you certainly don't have to get depressed. You can accept the change or even better you can aggressively and proactively pursue the discovery process and who knows as you learn about the change you may begin to be happy about it and integrate it into your life for a better tomorrow.

Remember no one controls your mental attitude but you. If you relinquish that control you relinquish the only power you will ever really have in this life and that is the power to control your self. Keep this in mind this week as you face change weather at work or at home and remember, you have the power!!!

Andy Peterson, signing off.

Confidence Part 2: When others fail you...

Last week we took a moment to answer the question "How can I believe in my self when it's so hard to hit my goals? Today we will review how to rebuild a waining confidence in our company and the people we work with when we feel they have failed us.

The two keys to restoring confidence in others are similar to having it restored in ourselves. Now it seems that we have no control over our opinions of others and some times this may be true but I prefer to remain focused on the larger percentage of time where we do in fact have control over our thoughts towards others.

So, what can we do? Well first in situations where it is possible to just let it go and give the offending party a little latitude this is the best and quickest way to move on and restore confidence in others. People make mistakes, people forget, people fail us on a daily basis. If we learn to move forward on a daily basis with forgiveness and grace we have the ability to keep from becoming jaded and cynical.

For an example I was doing my own quote for Auto Insurance the other day. I was running reports because I was impressed with the price and after I ran them I was instantly reminded of two occurrences that I forgot. Now why would I intentionally lie to my self. Is it possible that when our customers call us they are not being intentionally deceitful? Even if they are, who suffers the most if they are caught? I think it's us. Sure their rate goes up that's no big deal either they will buy the policy or they won't. But I think the one who suffers the most is the one who allows these "errors" on the part of the customer to cause them to become jaded and cynical. If we give that kind of control to them we lose every time.

Now, let us turn our attention to our organization. This one is a little more tough. When our confidence is broken in the organization that we work to serve we can become depressed and anxious. I think in the marketplace it is critical that we live with realistic expectations. This is the greatest place where we still have control. Here are some things to expect:

1. Things will change...All the time!!! - A business is like a human body... "if things aren't changing it's probably dead.
2. Each part of a business has different objectives...don't be surprised when people in your business stand in the way of your business objectives for example processors and underwriters. we have to learn to sell internally as well as we do externally. This starts by understanding the goals of the people we work with.
3. Each person we talk with on the phone has different objectives. it is critical that we uncover these objectives and sell to their desire or we will be disappointed just because they say they are looking because of price doesn't mean they are. Personally I am willing to pay twice as much as I have been for Internet service if the customer service will be there to support me, and my price will stay the same.

I hope this helps you this week as you work with people and restore your own sense of peace concerning the people around you.

This is Andy Peterson, signing off for another week. I am positively up beat and I hope you are too!!!